The Nightwatchman
…he may have saved the day, but tomorrow they’re coming for him – and his night is full of terrors…
About the Song
An imagining of what I would be like as a nightwatchman.
Back in the day I was a starving actor (there is no other kind) and used to get the standard “I’ve forgotten my lines” nightmare shortly before opening night – this is a similar sort of concept.
A nightwatchman in cricket is a lower-order batter (usually a bowler who can bat a bit) sent in near the end of a day’s play to protect the better batsman from getting out before stumps — a human shield in pads, tasked with surviving the night rather than scoring runs.
His reward if he succeeds? A date with a murder of fast bowlers in the morning, who have spent the night being prodded with tasers, beaten and forced to listen to his voice over and over again for hours whilst staring at life-size images of his face.
In the morning they are brought out (still chained at the neck), fed two kilograms of raw meat, a shot of cayenne pepper and a snort of recently-expired ‘roids.
After that their handlers point him out, shuffling his way to the crease like anyone’s dear old Mumsy, all soft and wet and well-snuggled, hand them a hard red ball and tell them to behave as they see fit.
Then they drop the shackles and release ze Kraken.
It’s a bloodbath, people. And this song describes the night before the morning after for our hapless Nightwatchman.
Video
Lyrics
Click the green links for lyric explanations, then click them again to go back to the lyric
He played and missed an over to save the next man in
But now it’s time to go to bed and let the nightmares in
Intrusive thoughts – what could tomorrow bring?
So sleep tight… tonight
Living is easier a thousand miles away
So sleep tight… tonight
The Nightwatchman
The Nightwatchman
The Nightwatchman
The Nightwatchman
His dreams are filled with terror at his imminent demise
The killer bowls a bouncer, hits him right between the eyes
Eyes wide open, until the rising dawn
So sleep tight… tonight
The Nightwatchman
The Nightwatchman
The Nightwatchman
The Nightwatchman
Audio
