The Eyes

In which the secrets to Muttiah Muralitharan’s success are revealed.

About the Song

The Eyes was inspired by the feats of Sri Lankan off-spin legend Muttiah Muralitharan, whose 800 Test wickets remains the world record for most individual Test wickets.

Unless someone has beaten it since I wrote this, of course, and I inevitably forgot to update the above intro. Which is the usual sort of rubbish you can expect on the Interwebs.

Murali’s eyes would widen alarmingly when taking the leap into his delivery stride – I could feel them. I imagine batsmen could too. And it’s time somebody said something about them.

To take 800 Test wickets requires cunning, trickery and mystery. You need to be able to sell the lie and have the batsmen believe it, time after time after time.

You need to be an international man of mystery. A snake oil salesman. And you need The Eyes.

Video

Lyrics

In the shadows of the day he’ll be plotting your doom
With a plan that comes together in the gathering gloom
When he winds up for the wrong ‘un it should come as no surprise
To feel the eyes, those damn eyes

You’ll find him at the Ritz or in a Learjet over France
In the members’ lounge at Lord’s or in a Himalayan trance
He’s an international playboy and a master of disguise
He’s got the eyes, those damn eyes

Spinner-man – take a walk down your memory lane
Spinner-man – it’s a long old road filled with heartache and pain
Spinner-man – you proved it time and time and time and time again
That the sword is mightier than the pen
You proved the sword is mightier than the pen
You proved the sword is mightier than the pen, Spinner-man
The sword is mightier than the pen

He’s a snake oil salesman with an easy smile
800 graves in Potter’s Field are proof he went the extra mile
He’s got alligator shoes and a briefcase full of lies
And of course the eyes, those damn eyes

He’s an evangelist of evil, a disciple of death
The last thing you’ll inhale will be the madman’s rotting breath
He leaves behind his victims for the vultures and the flies
No more the eyes, those damn eyes

Spinner-man – take a walk down your memory lane
Spinner-man – it’s a long old road filled with heartache and pain
Spinner-man – you proved it time and time and time and time again
That the sword is mightier than the pen
You proved the sword is mightier than the pen
You proved the sword is mightier than the pen, Spinner-man
The sword is mightier than the pen

Audio